At least she had eye protection. Safety first.

You know you're a suburban parent when your kids says, "Hey mommy! Look at me!" and you turn around to find her riding her scooter while wearing a shirt, a monkey backpack, and goggles -- but no pants.

It does have zero calories.

You know you're a suburban parent when you wonder aloud to yourself, "What should I have for lunch?" and the two-year-old answers, "Diet Coke?"